The Marmite of Leadership
Why Authenticity Needs a Customer
I’ve always loved Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. There’s something quite magical about it.
“Hold your breath, make a wish. Count to three. Come with me and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination.”
It’s a mix of craziness and seriousness, and underneath it all, somebody who is arguably being purely who they are. It’s a search for someone genuinely and consistently themselves; not trying to be what society wants, not performing, not trying to win priority for themselves.
When Charlie wins, it doesn’t really feel like a surprise. We’ve warmed to him. Even the harshest critics would struggle to find real fault. Is he a good example of authenticity?
Willy Wonka himself splits the pack. You either find him magical, original, inspirational, or perhaps a little unsettling. Perhaps he is a little too unpredictable, surprising in the way he treats and ultimately disposes of children when they don’t meet his exacting standards.
Both are arguably authentic. However, Wonka is authentic without restraint. Magnificent, visionary, completely himself — and yet he allows children become collateral damage towards his dream. He justifies it to himself because the goal is worthy enough. He genuinely wants the factory to go into good hands. He believes he’s doing this for the right reasons. But he’s leaving a trail of destruction in his wake.
This is the sort of authenticity that turns people off. It’s not so much that it isn’t genuine, rather the people around the leader are secondary to the leader’s own goal.
Charlie, on the other hand, could have gone it alone. He could have taken the golden ticket and run. Had lots of chocolate for himself. But he took Grandpa Joe, which itself took much persuading. He tried to help others achieve their dreams. He was generous. He was still himself, standing by his principles and saying what he thought, even to Wonka.
Authenticity is Marmite. You either love it or you’ve been burnt by someone wielding it badly.
In conversation with a number of senior leaders recently, when I broach this subject, some are warm to it — fully understanding the benefits of being authentic and values-driven. Others bristle at the mention, associating it with some of the negative ways we’ve seen it emerge in recent times.
The sort of unchecked authenticity that is self-obsessed does not make people warm to the topic.
Think of the meeting room
The leader who leads with courage, energy, and character; in line with who they are, but making space to hear others. Holds their own opinions back so the quieter voices get their turn. Accommodates different points of view. Is willing to change their mind. Inclusive without losing who they are themselves.
These people have nothing to prove. And that itself is endearing.
They haven’t got the showmanship of Willy Wonka. They’ve also grown past Charlie’s instinct, using authenticity more deliberately, and taking responsibility for others without ever forgetting who they are and how they got there.
When you’ve been in that kind of meeting, you feel drawn to a leader who puts the people in the room ahead of the goal, not instead of it.
To me, that is authenticity in service of others, not at the cost of others. I believe it’s the kind of description we could warm to as opposed to running a mile from the topic because the notion has been overused, misapplied and come to stand for something else entirely.
Where it went wrong
“Bring your whole self to work” is perhaps one of the most well-meaning yet ultimately unhelpful pieces of advice in modern leadership. It’s an invitation without a map. It asks people to express themselves with no consideration of the person, or the people, on the receiving end.
Bringing your bad habits, your dark side, and your self-centred ambition to work is not well received when you have to push past people and tread on toes to get there.
Showing a little restraint, a little consideration of others doesn’t need to mean you’re no longer being authentic. It means you are being authentic in service of others. Not at the cost of them.
Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, in his book Don’t Be Yourself, in my view, compounds the problem. I happen to agree with a lot of what Tomas says, just not the labels he and others give it. To suggest that authenticity is simply being yourself regardless of anybody else, is a limiting definition. To suggest that showing restraint or accommodating others means you’re no longer being authentic. Well that’s where the theory breaks down for me.
He calls this impression management, which makes it sound contrived. But I don’t believe the idea is to try to not be yourself. That is never sustainable, as it builds internal stress. It’s about putting others first while still being who you are, rather than performing a version of yourself that isn’t real. About recognising that we work with, for and through others, and therefore being considerate is still part of it. Authentic people can still be considerate.
A leader who knows who they are, leads from the heart, stands behind their decisions, and communicates them in a way that inspires, hasn’t just found their voice. They’re using it for and with others.
In Service of Others
To be authentic you need identity. You need conviction. You need values. You need craft. And perhaps most importantly, you need a customer. Not just a goal.
By all means, bring your whole self to work. Don’t leave the best parts of you outside the door. These cool, distinctive, entirely human pieces of who you are, they matter. They make an impact. They are what draws people to you, and makes them want to work with you or for you.
But don’t be Wonka. Disposing of people one by one as you pursue your goal, without fully explaining what you’re doing or why. It doesn’t matter how worthy the goal is. If you have to tread all over people to get there, you’ve lost the point of leadership entirely.
Authenticity was never a licence.
I still believe it’s a gift. One to be used, and spread, carefully.
Next week I’ll get into what that actually looks like in practice, and what you might want to carry with you when you do.
Have a great week
Fiona
Look again. See what was always there.
